The woman who sits by the fence at the gate sells my second favourite egg roll. The lady who makes my favourite, no longer sells them. Life.
It wasn’t until Friday that I realised I had held on to the promise of an eggroll with a vice grip every day last week. It got me out of bed in the morning and more so, out of the house. There was also the fact that I had classes but that was a secondary concern. Contrary to what one might think, it was not because I had a new found food obsession, those eggrolls had been there for ages and I had been buying them. No, I needed something, anything to anticipate, because by Monday I already knew it was going to be a wretched week.
I’m a morning person and that means I wake up with a rush of optimistic delusion about what the day ahead will look like. This can last a good one hour after waking up or more if things are in order. But there are other days, like Monday to Saturday of this week, where I’ve got a good ten minutes of positivity before reality strikes, another ten minutes if I can get to the bathroom within the first ten (water is really revitalizing).
There was no (might as well have been nothing) electricity.
Electricity forms the skeletal framework for my life (shocker). So, last Sunday, when the power went out, I of course was optimistic it would be back by evening. “it always comes back” I told myself.
Now, when I slept in the thankfully cool darkness that Sunday, I should have known that something was up but alas, I was still hopeful, sure that it would be back by morning.
It was Monday afternoon, no light. I knew then that the worst had happened. No information, no idea of when next and for how long I would get power in my house, I began to rethink my entire plan for the week. There’s a scene on TV shows, where the math genius begins to consider the problem at hand and the screen begins to fill with equations, ratios, and diagrams. That was me on Monday.
I cannot say for certain when my brain shut down but I know it did. I had described it to a friend during the week as going into battery saver mode. I participated in society, showed up -quite well actually. But that was it. I crossed absolutely nothing of my task list, did nothing save a single routine - my last semblance of control.
The power is back now, so fingers crossed for the coming week
**Note
Although I didn’t do anything “productive”, I did read a lot and that was nice.
Still within last week
The young girl, not more than 8, was carried bridal style into the consulting room. Both feet in casts, it was difficult to squeeze her through the pool of students that crowded the room. Her mum walks in behind the man carrying her daughter. The woman’s eyes never leave her daughter until she is placed on the gurney. It is then that she notices she has been squeezing through a thin path in the sea of humans, but this acknowledgement is brief. She returns to her daughter who is now crying. The girl says she is scared. her mother asks why. The girl struggles to articulate, the students are trying to assess and determine differentials, the mum waits for her daughter to finish.
She is scared she will fall.
There is no reason for fear, the girl is stable at the far end of the bed, no where near the edge. Even though, her mother puts one arm on her shoulder and another on her thigh. She says “how can you fall when I am holding you?”
The girl continues to whimper and the mum repeats the question.
The girl stills, and so do I.
I too am comforted by the mother’s sure words.
In other news:
I have a testimony!! I have finally finished the Invisible life of Addie LaRue by V.E Schwabb. Inarguably my best read so far though the year is still young.
I have been watching Kdrama - Beauty Inside (prior to the great blackout of ‘23") but I also started watching The morning show just a few minutes ago and it’s looking good
Finally.
There is more than enough to go around - Yrsa Daley-Ward
Thank you so much for reading. If you enjoyed it please “like”, “comment” and “subscribe”
~ Naomi
Lazy, breezy… makes me think about my week. Feels like a drug that makes you cool and addicted because I will come back here another day to read another ramble and I will like it as much as I like this one.