I have been taking the days as they come to me,
the weeks as they unfold,
the events as they peak through the horizon.
It feels like a long time since life felt like a whole; not just pieces of today.
I can’t afford to lean into my proclivities for the emotional volatilities of a troubled artist. And that means keep moving. Don’t stop to consider causalities and correlations.
Is this what we mean by living in the moment?
I was reminded lately that sympathetic hyperstimulation happens in anxiety. And some of the exercises that are meant to help in this situation include focusing on things like your breath, the ground beneath you and tactile senses – what you can feel… with your skin, not your mind. Being present.
Some people have gotten the hang of this. They know how to do it right. They don’t get lost in the strength of the pen between their fingers. They do not use the pen as an escape. The sounds of people speaking doesn’t fade into an audible buzzing. They are present.
Some of us, we lose ourselves in the present, in our present. We are unable to see your present or just unable to see any other thing occurring, just the pen.
I have been taking the days as they come to me.
I cannot remember yesterday.
I do not know what it was like to be there.
I am here now. I am present, the only way I know how.
In other news:
Certain things inspire you. You know them when you encounter them; music, people, writing, whatever… keep coming back to it. Stay inspired.
I owe Netflix thanks for introducing me to miniseries from other cultures. I find them so fun. I’ve watched one Polish show, a Saudi show, a Turkish show, a French show, an Indian show. Loads of fun.
Making money is apparently a necessity. Damnit!
Thank you for reading.
From,
Naomi